We live in an age of lists—Top 10, Top 28, Top 100. If you’ve got a keyboard, an opinion, and you are a writer on Medium, chances are you’ve created one. But what happens when a list about ideal first-date locations becomes a battleground for psychological and gender debates? Let’s talk about a recent list that went viral, one that has men fuming, women debating, and everybody projecting their inner selves harder than a spotlight in Fashion Week. In case you haven’t seen the infamous ‘list.’ Here it is:
List of places women absolutely refuse to go on a first date to
- Applebee’s
- Chili’s
- Chipotle
- Olive Garden
- The Movies
- Your House
- Any Fast Food Chain
- Buffalo Wild Wings
- Wingstop
- Red Lobster
- A Buffet
- IHOP
- Denny’s
- The gym
- Church
- Starbucks
- Coffee dates
- Cheesecake Factory
- Ice cream dates
- Family functions
- Movie night (Netflix, Hulu, and etc.)
- Somewhere that requires a long drive
- Bowling
- Nightclubs
- Hookah Bar
- A bar for just drinks
- Waffle House
- Sports events
(Source: delish)
The ‘list’ shreds typical first-date spots: from fast food to Hookah bars—even the movies. Some choices, fair game. Others? Ridiculously off-mark. It’s the social equivalent of throwing a lit match into a fireworks factory—explosive, divisive, and everyone’s watching.
Now, what’s interesting here isn’t just the places on the list, but the intense emotional reactions they trigger. Believe it or not, this seemingly benign list triggers deep-seated psychological battles, unleashing a Will Smith-level smackdown between the sexes.
Men feel their choices are criticized (hello, Anima), and women feel they have to defend the integrity of their entire gender (wave to the Animus, everyone). Let me break it down for you.
Breaking Down the Anima
In Jungian psychology, the Anima represents the inner feminine aspect of a man. Yes, fellas. Even Rambo has an inner Rihanna. It’s a complex structure that can take on multiple roles, from the nurturing mother to the alluring seductress. It reflects how a man relates to women and even how he understands the feminine aspects within himself.
Meme Morality of the Anima
For guys, this viral list is like someone publicly roasting their ‘Let’s just chill and watch Netflix’ game.
Suddenly, they’re questioning their worth, wondering if taking a date to Chipotle makes them look cheap. The delicate male Anima is so easily bruised. Cute isn’t it? But this triggers the existential crisis: ‘Am I boyfriend material or just a Dollar Menu Don Juan?’ No wonder guys are getting laid less than ever—probably terrified of being emasculated.
Sorry, fellas, for calling you out like that. Consider it a defense plea on your behalf. And stay with me, ladies. I’m just trying to understand here. Don’t come for me.
Breaking Down the Animus
On the flip side, the Animus is the inner masculine aspect of a woman. Just like the Anima, it too has multiple forms—from the rational judge to the heroic savior. Spot a bad list and an army of mad dudes? Cue the Animus kicking in like Chung-Li.
You’ll see women entering the debate, saying “Well, if the dude had any sense, he’d know not to take a woman to his house on a first date. Creepy AF.”
Women are not merely defending their personal preferences; they’re defending the idea that they deserve consideration, respect, and thoughtfulness. The Animus within rises to protect a woman’s dignity and to challenge any narratives that threaten her autonomy.
The Complex Dynamics of Projection
So, while the Animus is busy schooling clueless dudes, let’s pivot to another heavyweight in the dating ring: societal projection. Well, Talya Adams dives into this concept in her article “Love on the Menu: Spice, Romance, and Restaurant Restrictions?,” and she’s spot on. She sheds light on how restrictive restaurant choices can be an inadvertent form of gender policing. No one, man or woman, wants to be boiled down to some rando’s list.
The fascinating part is that these mental gymnastics aren’t limited to heated debates over dinner spots. Nope, these psychological dynamics unfold everywhere—social media threads, group chats, even your own mind. And honestly, it’s like watching a sitcom unfold in real life.
The Battle of the Sexes Meets Jungian Theory
The Anima and Animus aren’t just abstract concepts tucked away in psychology textbooks; they’re living, breathing forces within us that get activated in the most unexpected ways—like when choosing between Olive Garden and a Bowling Alley becomes a full-blown debate on gender roles, respect, and societal norms.
In the end, what this list and the emotional turmoil it’s causing reveal is a collective struggle to understand and be understood. Men, guided by their Anima, want their choices to be seen as valid. Women, spurred by their Animus, want their worth and preferences to be acknowledged.
The Silver Lining: Know Thyself
In the midst of this chaos, one thing becomes clear: The battleground of restaurant choices and first dates serves as a mirror to our inner selves. The level of projection happening here is off the charts. Men are throwing Anima-tantrums, and women are hurling their Animus like Thor’s hammer. You’d think they were auditioning for roles in a psychological drama.
In a society that seems to grow more absurd by the tweet, diving into the Anima and Animus provides not just laughs but also insight. The uproar about the viral list is more than just an overblown social media frenzy; it’s a candid display of our collective psyche in 2023. And let’s be honest, that’s one list that’s too complex and too amusing to ignore.
And please, for the love of Jung, let’s just take Chipotle off the table fellas.
Your Turn: Spill the Tea on Your Dating Adventures
There you have it folks. The bizarre battlefield of first dates, laid bare for all to psychoanalyze. Have you ever chosen one of these date locations? Or, have you been taken on a date to these places? How did you react? I’ve been out of the dating scene for decades, so I’d appreciate a bit of tea. Drop your thoughts and your own wild dating stories in the comments below!
If you found this journey through the jungle of love as entertaining as I did, give it a clap or two. Cheers!
© 2023 Evelyn Ann Rose. All rights reserved.
